How to be Your Own Valentine, Every Day

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 How to be Your Own Valentine, Every Day

Since it’s February now, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on one of my favorite holidays.  Valentine’s Day is a holiday that many people feel strongly about for a multitude of reasons.  Here is the reason why Valentine’s Day is important to me and why I try to be my own valentine every day.

Valentine’s Day is a day devoted to reminding us all about LOVE in our life.  Before anyone gets too excited about it being a Hallmark holiday, an excuse to spend lots of money or a silly redundant waste of time because we should show people that we love them every day, let me clarify.  Should we show people that we love them?  Probably.  I am reluctant to use the “should” word here (or ever), because as Admiral Ackbar says in Star Wars, “it’s a trap”.  I do think that we would all feel much better if choosing to show love to those around us was a daily intention and practice.  I also think we would all feel much better if we allowed ourselves to rest in the embrace of our own love.

Valentine’s Day is like every other holiday.  You can celebrate it in whatever fashion you choose that fits your own life, budget and values.  You can choose to not celebrate at all.  You don’t have to buy anything if you don’t want to.  You can BUY ALL THE THINGS if you want to.  You can focus your awareness and celebration on romantic love, self love, familial love, the love between friends or that fact that we are all love incarnate.

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If you do choose to celebrate, here are some simple ways that you can show love to yourself on Valentine’s Day or any day…


Take a relaxing and romantic bath!

Light some candles, add some bath salts and botanicals or essential oils.  Get the water temperature just right.  Turn on any music or soothing sounds that feel good.  Relax and enjoy!


Body work/Energy work!

Touch can be sensual (as in a sensory experience), sexual or both and there are healthy and appropriate times for both in a person’s life.  This is something you can do for yourself (as in self foot massage), do with a partner, or invest in hiring a professional body worker to do for you.  Touch is so therapeutic, whether it is intentional loving self touch or touch from another.  Think about what is already in your self-care toolbox as well as considering different modalities that you may not have tried before.  Some of my favorites include massage, chiropractic care, acupuncture, and healing touch.


Feed yourself!

Prepare an excellent delicious and healthy meal for yourself or take yourself out for a meal!  Nourish your body through your food choices.


Move your body with love!

Find an activity that lights you up inside.  You will know what it is for you.  More important than what the movement looks like on the outside is how it feels to you on the inside and why you are doing it.  This may be dance, martial arts, yoga, Pilates, running, lifting heavy things… really anything that makes you feel alive and connected to your own brilliant physical presence.  Experience the joy that comes from moving your body with love in ways that feel good to you!


Take yourself on a date!

Is there a movie you want to see?  An art class you want to take?  A beautiful hike you want to enjoy?  Do it!  You don’t have to wait around for anyone else to start living the life you have imagined.  As an added side benefit, you may also meet interesting people who share your interests and passions by being bold enough to follow your own.

Share the love!

If you are looking to spread love to others and feel love in return, a suggestion would be to visit a nursing care facility and visit with some of the residents.  This is a great way to feel connected to others and to share your love as a gift!


Do you have any favorite ways that you like to show yourself love?  Share your ideas and helpful tips in the comment section below.


Take care and much love,





  1. Great reminders, Martha! Thanks!

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